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I’m so tired. My eyes burn. They’re heavy. I don’t even know I’m bothering to type this out. Maybe so someone will notice. Maybe because I want to talk. But idk who to talk to. I don’t know who is even still awake at this time. My girlfriend is asleep next me. But I don’t want to talk to her. Not because she’s done anything wrong. I just don’t want to talk to her. I don’t know what to even say. I want to talk to someone. I want to not be tired. I want to not be stressed. I want to not be angry. My neighbor upstairs makes a shit ton of noise everyday. Even at this time. Past midnight and they’re still stomping around. It annoys the fuck outta me. I’m just typing at this point. Typing what ever. My dog is awake. Maybe he can’t sleep either. I think a lot. I’m always thinking. Even when I’m asleep or dreaming, I know I’m still thinking. I’m pretty sure that’s why I have such vivid dreams. I wish I could remember them more. I have no money. I’ve been feeling so broke. I pay my bills. That should be enough. It never feels like enough. I work hard. At least I’d like to think so. I make more money than I’ve ever made. It’s still not enough. It’s never enough. Why can’t it be enough? I’ve been thinking of sell off some of my things. Mainly my collectors edition video games. Maybe I dug myself into this whole. But I’m scared. I’m terrified. Idk how to get out of this. Everything feels like such a mess. I trying so hard to think of a way to clean it up. Idk what to do anymore. Maybe I’ll sell my things for some spare cash. Maybe I’ll just forget about school and get a second job. Maybe then I’ll just work myself to death. At this point I feel so concerned with material things. What for? I’ll die someday regardless of what I own. I want to invest in building a gaming PC. why bother? I want to make more money and clear up my debts and save up to move far far away. But what’s the point? Why bother? Maybe I should just stick it out in the job I’m at and just say “fuck it, I’ll just get comfortable here”. I’m so close to just giving up whatever plausible dreams I have left and just settle in where I am. Continue paying bills. The same bills. Every months the same shit. Maybe that will help. Maybe I’ll just give up on everything and just sit here and rot.

theneighbourhoodlyrics:

Lurk - The Neighbourhood 

"I want to be honest
I want to be bad
I want to destroy you
I want to move fast"

theneighbourhoodlyrics:

Lurk - The Neighbourhood 

hisandherquotes:

(18+)

(via summer-wines)